My first girlfriend just got married, in San Francisco!
'Thrilled' doesn't even begin to cover it.
To call her my 'first girlfriend' doesn't even begin to cover it, either, I mean, the impact of the relationship, in my life. This is someone who helped make me who I am, and I am *literally* thrilled beyond belief that she has married the woman she's been with for god-knows-how-many years. ('Cause I sure don't remember.)
I -- honestly -- the only thing I wish is that I could have been there with them on this happy day.
Go on, explain to me how this will lead to the downfall of civilization. I dare you.