Oh, whatever, I just needed a good title.
So, I get this spam email today asking if I'm "Tired of looking for love in all the wrong places?",
and I thought -- what if I wrote back and said "no"?
I'm not tired of looking for love in all the wrong places. For all I know, love really is wedged in between the sofa cushions, along with a beer bottle cap, 67 cents, a packet of hot sauce, and a sock. So, hell, yeah, I'll take a chance and look. And who is to say what the wrong places are, anyway?
Being as it's my blog, I guess I am.
Some Wrong Places To Look For Love:
- Low Earth Orbit.
- 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea.
- A POW camp, during any war or "police action".
- In the middle of a neutrino detector.
- In an Active Volcano.
- In the utility closet at the Rose Bowl.
- Dangling from a bunjee cord off the Empire State Building, about 7 floors down. On the right.
- In the general vicinity of Hastings, 1066 A.D.
- In the southeast corner of the dumpster at 5th and Main. Under the rotten coleslaw.
- In the air conditioning ducts at your building.
- Underneath the last roll of toilet paper.
- Tucked in the freezer, wrapped in butcher's paper, labelled "Moose - 1998".
- At the top of the CN Tower in the middle of the night.
- At the bottom of a 50-gallon drum of toxic waste.
Of course, having not looked in all these places myself, I could be wrong.