Time for Some Country Music

Oh, whatever, I just needed a good title.

So, I get this spam email today asking if I'm "Tired of looking for love in all the wrong places?",

and I thought -- what if I wrote back and said "no"?

I'm not tired of looking for love in all the wrong places. For all I know, love really is wedged in between the sofa cushions, along with a beer bottle cap, 67 cents, a packet of hot sauce, and a sock. So, hell, yeah, I'll take a chance and look. And who is to say what the wrong places are, anyway?

Being as it's my blog, I guess I am.

Some Wrong Places To Look For Love:

• Low Earth Orbit.
• 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea.
• A POW camp, during any war or "police action".
• In the middle of a neutrino detector.
• In an Active Volcano.
• In the utility closet at the Rose Bowl.
• Dangling from a bunjee cord off the Empire State Building, about 7 floors down. On the right.
• In the general vicinity of Hastings, 1066 A.D.
• In the southeast corner of the dumpster at 5th and Main. Under the rotten coleslaw.
• In the air conditioning ducts at your building.
• Underneath the last roll of toilet paper.
• Tucked in the freezer, wrapped in butcher's paper, labelled "Moose - 1998".
• At the top of the CN Tower in the middle of the night.
• At the bottom of a 50-gallon drum of toxic waste.

Of course, having not looked in all these places myself, I could be wrong.