Friday, July 19, 2002

Only In America


I'd like to suggest to every citizen that we spam the TIPS program. Call in everything. "My neighbor's dog looks at me funny, it must be a terrorist." "My apartment got trashed, it must have been terrorists". And the ever-popular "He/She looks Middle Eastern, they must be a terrorist."

'Cause that's really what it's all about, kids. Irrational fear, especially of things we don't understand, like cultures whose immigrants resist assimilation while still striving for the American dream. Oh, the horror.

Let's just get it over with and illustrate the sheer stupidity and logistic impossibility of a program encouraging half the nation to snitch on the other half.

This is America, dammit, the land of the free and home of the brave. Show some frickin' backbone.

You want to do something to make the world a better place? Safer for you, your family, your community? Join the Peace Corps. Join Habitat for Humanity. Work to end hunger, educate and improve the lives of others. Strive for racial equality. Stop terrorism from even starting by easing the burdens that lead so many to hate. Add hope to the world, and that hope will be delivered back to you tenfold.

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