Sunday, February 06, 2011

Life in the Patriarchy

Picture this conversation, if you can:

Guy: I loooove cake!

Girl: Not a big cake fan, myself. I prefer cookies. With M&Ms.

Guy: What?

Girl: I said I'm not a big cake fan.

Guy: What? But you have to love cake!

Girl: Huh?

Guy: What's wrong with you?

Girl: Nothing's wrong with me. I like cookies more than cake.

Guy: You can't love cookies more than cake. Trust me, you love cake. You have to love cake. Everybody loves cake. You need a perspective adjustment.

Girl: But I really like cookies.

Guy: But I love cake.

Girl: So, love your cake. And I'll love cookies.

Guy: I love cake, so you have to love cake, too.

Girl: I. Prefer. Cookies.

Guy: Prove it. What do you have against cake?

Girl: I don't have anything against cake. Cake is fine. You should love cake. I'm glad you love cake. I don't love cake.

Guy: Listen, I'm the man in this relationship and I love cake. That's just the way it is. You're going to have to live with it.

Girl: Fine! Love cake! Why do I have to love cake, too? Why is my preference automatically invalidated while yours isn't? Cookies! With M&Ms in them! Are great!

Guy: I know you really love cake. That's why you can't come up with a good argument against my cake.

Girl: *blink* *blink*

Guy: See? I'm right. I'm always right. You love cake. Told you.

In the radical feminist ending, she takes a flamethrower to him.

In the real world, he nags her endlessly until she agrees with him just to get him to shut up.

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