Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Fun with Spam

This could be one of my sporadic recipe posts, with a title like that.

But it's not.

No, I got spam today, big surprise, but it's spam that made me pay attention to it. That is a surprise.

The spam asked me, "What do you want your website to do?"

What the hell kind of question is that? What do I want my website to *do*? Well, shee-it. I'll tell you what I want my website to do.

I want my website to have kittens.
I want my website to jump rope with me.
I want my website to keep the kids who live on the second floor from getting into too much trouble.
I want my website to stop drinking so much.
I want my website to educate readers on issues of science, politics, law, and government.
I want my website to give me tickets to, oh, anywhere.
I want my website to stop hogging the covers.
I want my website to taste more cheese-y, but without the extra calories.
I want my website to kick ass and take names.
I want my website to impeach the President of the United States for High Crimes and Misdemeanors.
I want my website to impeach the Vice-President of the United States for High Crimes and Misdemeanors.
I want my website to restore the rule of law to this country.
I want my website to make me proud of being an American, instead of ashamed.


But I don't think there's a setting for all that on the Ronco Web-O-Matic.

More's the pity.