The Top 10 Conservative Idiots (No. 228)
Conventional wisdom would have you believe that Republicans are real tough guys; great hulking giants of men who laugh in the face of danger and fart in the living room of Death as they boldly swing their nuts across the land. Conventional wisdom is, sadly, wrong. The truth is that if you show a Republican a picture of an Arab he'll cling to the pantlegs of Big Daddy Bush wailing, "Please! Tap my phone lines! Take away my rights! Rip up the Constitution! Anything to protect me from the infinitesimally small chance of being killed by that scary bearded man! Oh no, I think I did a dirty bomb in my pants."
You know, it's not like we're getting bombed every day, or having buildings flown into every day, or anything that might actually look like a clear and present or imminent danger that might justify invading another country and making war against them. I just don't see it. And, it's not that I want buildings to be flown into on a daily basis, or bombers flying overhead, or people with explosives strapped to themselves on major thoroughfares -- but where are the news reports that the police caught someone with explosives strapped to himself before he could get on a bus? If the Patriot Act is so great and the terrorists so dangerous to our safety here in the U.S. that we must start a war elsewhere to distract them, where are the news reports of all the bad guys caught on American soil? And of the guys who have been detained on (or transported to) American soil, where's the proof that they're bad guys?
Are we engaging the enemy in this war on terror, at all? Or just killing a lot of people?
I just don't get these hysterical Republicans.
Maybe it's because I grew up on Ground Zero, a rat's whisker-width away from the Soviet Union and their Evil Empire with all its ICBMs -- all pointed at me, my family, my country -- as two nations stood poised on the brink of nuclear annihilation. "Mutually Assured Destruction". That was dirty-bomb-in-your-pants scary. But, we didn't need the Patriot Act then. FISA worked then, and works now. We didn't need "National Security Zones" where people weren't allowed their First Amendment rights of holding up a sign telling the President they think he's being a wanker.
Hysterical. They're freaking overwrought, is what. Buncha nancies, if you ask me.
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