Sunday, May 01, 2005

News Flash! My Mom's Really a Man!

What Makes a Woman a Woman?

Quoth Feministe from Senate Bill 51 and House Bill 356:

"WOMAN- The term `woman’ means a female human being who is capable of becoming pregnant, whether or not she has reached the age of majority."


Wow, once I hit menopause, I'll cease to be a woman. That's amazing. Absolutely amazing. Does this mean I'll get paid a dollar on the dollar, instead of 76 cents? I have to go call my mother, I'm sure she'll be thrilled to hear she can finally be a first-class citizen in This Man's America. Golly!

Wups! Better make that "he"!

And just think, all those FTM transgendered folks can finally be themselves, once they're no longer fertile! Screw getting surgery to create a dick, all you need is to be an infertile female, and *bam* -- you're a guy! I mean, after all, what else would you be? Women are not-men, and men are not women, so a not-not-man is a man!

So, here's the question for you: if I'm on birth control pills, or menstruating, or not ovulating, I'm not capable of become pregnant. Am I not a woman, then? Should I register for the draft?

And, what if I missed my pill on a given day?

How will people tell when I am or am not a woman?

Boy, just think of all the problems that men will suddenly have an impetus to solve, now that they are equally the victims and perpetrators of domestic violence and of rape.

I look forward to the day.

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